The word transformation gets thrown out frequently but far less common do those who talk about transformation articulate the actual sequence of transformation. Multiple lineages and traditions around the world have described transformation as occurring through three distinct phases. These phases may be called different names by different traditions but there’s a common understanding of the threefold nature of the sequence.
These three stages are somewhat linear in the sense that over the long haul of a transformational arc, they do follow a sequence. But in practice there can be lots of ebbing and flowing back and forth between—2 steps forward, one step back type of thing.
In the traditions of initiation they three phases are known as: 1. initiating crisis/trauma leading to disorientation; 2. the path of disorientation and finding a new way forward (the crucible); 3. resolution into a new way transformed way of being. In the crystalline work, we call these three phases Opening, Creativity, and Mastery.
Opening (Phase 1)
Opening is the beginning of the process of transformation. Here at the beginning it’s really critical to name that many people are not typically interested in transformation (even if they say they might be). Transformation literally means to “move or go across form” (trans + form). The root word trans there is the same root as transition or transfer. Hence transformation is to transition form (trans-form). The form here being underlying causes or conditional experiences. To transform is to open to and then creatively master a new set of conditions (transition form).
In contrast, many individuals, consciously or otherwise, are oriented to placating symptoms, rather than transforming the underlying causes of the symptoms: aka “band-aid solutions.” For example, if a person continues to date the same type of needy person over and over again they can either grouse about their current relationship or start a new relationship and start the cycle all over again with someone new (who turns out to be much the same as the last few). Or they might choose to numb out so they don’t experience the uncomfortable sensation of acknowledging their partner is not a good fit for them. Those are more coping strategy responses.
For such a person to truly transform they need to ask themselves why they keep ending up in romantic attachments with individuals who are overly needy and can’t take care of themselves, which puts this person in a position of feeling like they always need to intervene and rescue or caretake their partners. Over time they eventually grow to resent this dynamic and they might end that relationship only to find they’re in the same relationship dynamic with a “new” person a few months later.
The answer will likely have something to do with them needing to be needed. They want to be useful, needed, appreciated and seen as a responsible individual. So they find they date people who typically need that kind of help and offer that kind of validation. At first they might get a bit of an ego boast, but as noted this will eventually turn sour because deeper down what they probably really want or desire is an equal partnership.
As they continue to inquire they might find then that there are two competing desires in their being—one a conscious one to have a loving, fulfilling, co-creative relationships and the other (unconscious) to be needed, relied on, and to receive validation through fixing other people’s problems or healing their pain.
Those two intentions are at cross-purposes and result in the self-defeating and undermining situation of dating the same person over and over again. As in the old saw about insanity being doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.
Opening in this case would be committing to actually transforming the underlying pain in their being leading them to want to be affirmed, validated, or needed through problem solving and/or caretaking others pain.
To open is to deeply choose to transform and to take up the entire journey of transformation—to see it all the way through (i.e. to Mastery Phase 3).
Now at this stage the person probably does not know how they will practically achieve this transformation. They might not know all the steps involved in getting from their current state to a new embodied transformed state. At this point they have to really feel deeply their desire, their intent to change. The stronger the intention, the more likely they will be to see it through, even when the waters get a bit choppy.
Which brings us to Phase 2 (Creativity/Chaos).
Creativity/Chaos (Phase 2)
In this second phase the person walks the path of transformation. Dante’s Divine Comedy begins with the famous lines:
“Midway upon the journey of our life,
I found myself within a forest dark,
For the straightforward path had been lost.”
The straightforward path was the expected trajectory of life Dante had grown up with, had been raised in through family, culture, religion, school, etc. That path, for whatever sets of reasons, had been lost to him. Perhaps it was trauma or a spiritual awakening or the loss of a loved one or a betrayal or any other combination of factors.
But whatever the reason (or reasons) that path is lost. The forest at that point is dark and possibly disorienting. Nevertheless Dante goes on the epic journey—in his case through hell, purgatory, and heaven—to come out transformed the other end. Those three realms are known in shamanic traditions as the lower, middle, and upper worlds. Along the way Dante finds guides (Virgil and Beatrice) to escort him and support him through these realms of experience. Just so we may find we need mentors and guides as we traverse our own transformational realities.
Let’s return to our example of the person who realizes they need to change their entire orientation to relationship—who they are attracted to, how they will be in relationship, etc. They have at this point recognized that they have a self-sabotaging need to be liked, appreciated and affirmed and that by being with needy people they’ll get that need met but unfortunately at the cost of a healthy relationship. They’ve opened (Phase 1) up to the path of change.
Now they are going to find themselves needing to walk by a way they do not yet know (“found myself within a forest dark”). They are going to have to face into the pain underlying the need for validation and sense of worthiness that these needy, non-self capable folks currently provide. They have to inquire into where that need comes from?
Perhaps it stems form childhood wounding or trauma or ancestral programming—or all of the above. Here then is where they have to transform: to change these fundamental root causes. They see that the need to be validated and affirmed by others is undermining their own healthier desires for a more mutual, balanced, and co-creative relationship.
Let’s say they recognize there’s family patterning and multi-generational conditioning at play. They would then undergo some processes to heal those multi-generational patterns. In so doing they will need to come into contact with their own being with all the emotion and energy associated with that family patterning. They are going to need to feel it, release it, change it. There may be grief there, shame, rage, fear, etc. I’ve described such a process of emotional alchemy in a previous piece.
This point is where things can get choppy. To truly transform requires creating new structures in our being. There comes a point where the old structures must give way before the new ones can become fully established. There’s a kind of “groan” or liminal in-between zone in Phase 2, betwixt and between the older and newly emergent orders. In physics this phase is known as non-equilibrium dynamics: normally rules do not apply as things are out of their usual stasis or equilibrium. This period is potentially a very creative one but it needs a strong container of support to guide the frothy creative energies to new forms of more flexible and agile structure. Otherwise one might not breakthrough but rather breakdown with the loss of previous coping mechanisms.
But assuming a strong container of support, including especially practices to learn how to work with one’s own emotions and sensations in a safe manner, the person can move onto Phase 3: Mastery.
Mastery (Phase 3)
“Break on through to the other side.” —The Doors
In Mastery a person has actually achieved their transformation goal. Out of the non-linear creative flux of the second phase, some new more agile and elegant order has emerged. The key word there being emerged. Even while a person has an intention or goal in Opening/Phase 1, they can never predict beforehand how exactly it will concretely manifest in their life. Mastery is about embodied knowing. Something has transformed within oneself and the person is deeply changed.
In our example of the person who keep dating needy people, they change. They find themselves no longer attracted to needy persons. They find themselves attracted to more autonomous, self-reliant individuals with whom they could have a relationship that’s more on the level.
The larger the nature of the transformational goal the more intense the journey to its completion. An intention such as transforming how one is in relationship is a major undertaking so there would be probably many mini-cycles of Phases 1-3 within an overall movement towards sustained mastery.
A smaller goal, a less drastic or revolutionary one, might be quick to resolve and bring up less content in Creativity/Chaos/Phase 2. In that second phase all the emotions, memories, sensation, and behavioral patterning within us that is incongruent to our stated objective will arise in order to be healed and/or released. (Again see the piece on emotional alchemy for more on how that works in practice.) A person who is able to do that internal work is then able to translate that internal work in Phase 1 and 2 to new outward expression in Phase 3 Mastery. The changed behavior flows out naturally from the internally transformed landscape. Unfortunately many methods seek to bypass the deeper work of inner transformation and try to teach people external “hacks” to induce changed behavior.
Mastery is a feeling of deep relief and exhale after a period of intensity, as in the statement, “I feel complete now.” That completeness is Mastery.
Something emerges Mastery that is greater than the sum of the parts.
In learning theory they talk of translative learning vs. transformational learning. Translate learning is learning how to do something we already know how to do but just tweaking it slightly or adding an improvement. Let’s say a person already knows how to play four musical instruments. Learning a fifth instrument would still involve a bit of a learning curve but will likely be pretty straightforward since they have already mastered (Phase 3) the overall process of how to learn to play music and new instruments. They are simply taking that already existing embodied mastery and translating it in a new case: hence translative learning.
Transformational learning, by contrast, is learning to play a first instrument. Having to learn to read music, understand rhythm, learn hand placements, and deal with all the emotional resistance and challenge of such a steep learning curve. Certainly some people are more naturally musically gifted than others but for most it’s still quite a learning curve. That’s transformational learning.
The arc of transformation is about embodied transformational learning.
The spiritual process is a transformational learning process. Soul work is another one. Learning to be able to recognize when we are moving in and out of these stages and how best to orient in each one is a powerful tool of an integrated life. The three phases is, after all, a conceptual model or map. The map, as they say, is not the territory. But it Is very helpful to have a solid map to orient in new terrain. Ultimately though it’s about bringing the model or the map to life by observing and recognizing and taking appropriate action based on which phase we might be at an any time. We will constantly move in and out of these phases in smaller, medium-sized, and larger arcs over our lives. Coming to appreciate and make friends with this arc of transformation is critical for sustained growth over the long haul.